20041121
(damn it feels harder and harder to express myself..lang sux.. perhaps i shld seriously start reading)
hiy..it was pure heaven in new zealand, now that i am back... its such a drastic change.. a feeling of emptiness..a feeling of disappointment... i terribly missed everyone...i missed the people there...i missed the 14 daes we all had, i missed new zealand.
The cheerful voices that was heard during every second of the trip... i would never ever forget...never. In the bus..the outdoors..the calm and tranquil mornings, the exhilaratingly happening nights, we weren't alone.
For 2 weeks we all soar like birds in the sky, as though there wasn't a tomorrow. Now here i am back, my wings are cut, my legs are bound... ...
I would never see them late in the night, or watch the sunrise on their faces.
I'll never hear those voices again...
every morning,
every night,
every part of my day.
I dreamt of hearing them, their unforgetable voices, thought that we were all back once again, waking up in the midst of a beautiful fantasy with a smile, only to realize that it was nothing but an illusion, and tears well out as the cold reality dawns upon u... ...
It was the best trip i ever had..the best 14 daes of my life.. the first trip that I had shed my tears for...
I lost my cam in the airplane on the last day of my trip, the previous time I lost my handphone...
However, its a totally different feeling this time!... yes it isn't cheap, but...its the pictures that i cant bear to part with..I dun care about the $$@~!!!!..i feel like slapping the shit outta myself...why am i such a
well...it was really a wonderful trip, its real hard to express my feelings to those who weren't there to experience the trip.
its real late now, shld i write abt my trip in the next few entries? or shld i juz pass it?
i came back feeling lost and empty, only to realise that my heart and soul have been left back there...
posted @ 2:22 AM
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20041102
everything is just falling outta place..everything...my pillar in life..those friends that i trust most, they have changed...changed...
Humans...humans...those animals that screwed themselves up so much..from the beginning of a sin to the end. They take every freaking thing for granted, they dun even know how to put themselves in the shoes of others, insensitive to everything that is going on in the world, exploiting friends! what's wrong man!!! whats wrong¬!$£¬!$!
You can choose to be one who do things for others, feel for others, one who spares a thought others and put others before u.
Or u can choose to be a typical bo-chap guy, treating everything and everyone in life with an indifferent attitude.
If you are the second option, you are more likely to be one that will have more friends by ur side, be in the upper side of a relationship, gaining more control over your lover. Its because..you dun give as much as the first guy and people cherish you cause your respect, your single word of 'sorry', is hard to earn. A sorry from you, if you have not said it in years, no matter how insincere will make the other accept ur apology instantly.
Be a villain all the time, and when you suddenly do a good deed, you will be greatly appreciated by everyone.
If you are the first option, you feel happy when you see your friends happy. So you try all your best to make everyone satisfied, even at the cost of sacrificing a part of yourself. Your friends would say that you are a very good person, but they slowly do not fully appreciate you. They will just remember you at the corner of their head, oh a good guy and nothing else. You end up being exploited in some cases, and friends just come to you when they need you, in other times you are just casted aside. You tend to give too much to the other party and you are very likely to be in the lower side of a relationship, the one that loves too much, give too much that in the end gets taken for granted and ditched.
Be an angel all the time, and when you suddenly commit a mistake...you impression is ruined at an instant.
Be an angel to everyone, make them happy, make sacrifices for them, and you end up as a lone fool with no true friends...only friends that come and go. friends that come when they need you. Friends that run away and avoid when you are desperate for help, or just need a chat or someone for company.
$$$$ and friendship doesn't mix.stop overtreating and buy stuff for others..it only spoils friendship...and others will only go for your money even if its unintentional.
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posted @ 11:08 PM
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